They should really pass out barf bags in church
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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