she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
