Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
