Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
