i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
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I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
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You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
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