Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
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