My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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