i always forget guys have bellybuttons
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
