i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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