This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Randomize
