Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
