my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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