Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
