We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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