chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
