More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom