end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks