There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
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If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
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Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
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