Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
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Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
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Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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