i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
