I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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