Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
