u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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