My nipple is on Facebook.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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