They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
