so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
