I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
