like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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