Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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