? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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