I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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