I need help removing her.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
