Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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