Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
