My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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