By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Yo dont text me then not text me
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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