I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
