I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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