So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
