Its about making memories worth repressing
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
