I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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