Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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