Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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