Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
