so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I deserve this hangover.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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