So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
