JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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