I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
