I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize