Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
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My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
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I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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