I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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