Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
