That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
