The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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