She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
