This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
