Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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