She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
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I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
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I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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